But the grief of retirement goes beyond the painful loss of love and life. When someone hasn’t left time or energy to devote to hobbies and interests outside the office, they may worry about the blank space on their calendar. If they haven’t been intentional about nurturing relationships outside of the office, their social outlook may be bleak.
#Semisonic closing time year professional
Individuals who have been myopically focused on their professional priorities to the detriment of their personal development often struggle and are scared to some degree as they contemplate stepping back from the structure of their 9-5. It’s impossible to go back and change things, but many people get stuck in playing a devil’s fool “what if” game. In the later stages of life people collect the natural consequences of a lifetime of choices-relational, financial, and physical. Facing “what’s next” they’d look at me perplexed, “Now what?” Heartache and isolation weren’t part of the pension plan they signed up for. They entered treatment struggling physically and hurting psychologically. I’ve shared an office with many a highly-decorated military official who, in their decades of service, had burned through multiple wives and alienated their kids. The price of poor boundaries can be multiple marriages or fractured relationships with children. For some, work becomes an irresistible mistress. When it’s time to part ways with work, some individuals are incensed that after a lifetime of giving heart and soul to an institution, they are left with broken bodies and unsettled minds. Businesses aren’t as personal or personable as we like to make them out to be. It can come as an insult to realize how replaceable we are. Instead, the day after they clock out for the last time, the machine they were a cog in will continue to grind on without them.
There will be no ticker-tape parade for their final out. As some individuals approach retirement, they realize that their expectations about ending on a high note are a pipe dream.
Many people spend a lifetime going hard and fast so they can finally slow down, but the closer they get to the finish, reality can start to look different than it appeared far in the distance.īroken Expectations. For others, it turns out to be more like a booby prize or punishment. Retirement is the culmination of decades of pushing hard. In our culture, we view retirement as a grand punctuation. The things people process in therapy as they get ready to make this life transition vary, but many discussions revolve around similar themes- broken expectations, identity, grief, regret, fear, and legacy. As it turns out, this life milestone is about a lot more than cashing in a 401K, playing golf all day, and eating dinner at 5:00 pm. Over the last decade, I’ve clocked a significant amount of time in a therapy office with people on the precipice of retirement.
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